Good Morning, ☀️
My sincerest apologies for missing in action since my last blog post. I am currently back in college studying remotely from home, at “Harvard University” In The Med School Program. Although it consist of long hours, long lectures and studying. I am here to keep all my subscribers and new visitors up to date on my life changes and maintaining my mental health blog during this Pandemic.
If you are currently enduring any pain due to the loss of a loved one this year especially during these difficult times. My condolences 💞. Dealing with and keeping our Mental Health stabilized is one thing itself! Once we begin to experience grieving and mourning it is completely excruciating and becomes more difficult trying to keep it all together. I am here to tell you - YES! You will get through this! YES! You’re allowed to feel sadness and mourn for as long as it takes! Don’t Allow anyone to tell you differently.
“Let’s differentiate the two.“
is when you take the grief you have on the inside and express it outside yourself. There is no one right or only way to mourn. 🖤
THERE IS NO SET TIME WHEN YOU’LL OVERCOME THIS EMPTINESS.
12 Steps in Grief Process
1.RECOVER FROM A LOVED ONE'S DEATH REQUIRES MORE THAN TIME.
Yet, if we allow ourselves the time to “mourn“ we can gradually break grief's grip on us. Recognizing the role and value of the grieving process orients us to accepting the fact of the death. Acceptance marks a major step towards recovery.
2.GRIEF IS UNIVERSAL - GRIEVERS ARE DISTINCTIVE.
Grieving follows a pattern, but each griever experiences it differently. #Awareness of the basic pattern reveals common ground for mutual help and support. Recognition of uniqueness enables grievers to help themselves, guides sympathizers in what to say and do.
3.SHOCK INITIATES US INTO MOURNING.
We go numb when someone we love dies. We feel stunned, in a trance. This is nature's way of cushioning us against tragedy. The length and depth of this state varies according to our relationship, the cause of death, whether it was sudden or expected, etc. Shock allows us time to absorb what has happened and to begin to adjust. The guidance of caring people can sustain new grievers. As numbness wears off and #acceptance grows, we regain control of the direction of our lives.
4.GRIEF CAUSES DEPRESSION.
Grievers typically, but in varying degrees, experience loneliness and depression. This pain, too, will pass. Being alone need not result in loneliness. Reaching out to others is a key way to lessen loneliness and to overcome #depression.
5.GRIEF IS HAZARDOUS TO OUR HEALTH.
The #mental and #emotional upset of a loss by death causes physical distress and vulnerability to illness. Grievers sometimes neglect healthy nourishment and exercise, overindulge in drinking, smoking or medication. We might need a doctor's advice in regard to our symptoms, their causes and their treatment.
6.GRIEVERS NEED TO KNOW THEY'RE NORMAL.
The death of a loved one makes the future very uncertain. We might panic in the face of the unknown and fear life without the one who died. Panic prevents concentration and defers acceptance of the finality of death. It tempts us to run from life, to avoid people and to refuse to try new things. We might even think we're going crazy. Patience with ourselves and a willingness to accept help enable us to subdue panic and outgrow its confusion.
7.GRIEVERS SUFFER GUILT FEELINGS.
Many blame themselves after a loved one's death, for the death itself or for faults in the relationship. We have all made mistakes and sincere regret is the best response to them. However, self-reproach out of proportion to our behaviour affects our mental health and impedes our recovery. Close friends or a trusted counselor can aid us in confronting and dealing with guilt feelings, whether justified or exaggerated.
8.GRIEF MAKES PEOPLE ANGRY.
People in grief naturally ask "Why?" Why him? Why me? Why now? Why like this? Most of these questions have no answers. Frustration then causes us to feel the resentment and anger. We want someone to blame: God, doctors, clergy, ourselves, even the one who died. If we can accept the lack of answers to "Why?" we might begin to ask, instead, what can we do now to grow through what has happened. Then we have started to move beyond anger and towards #hope.
9.EMOTIONAL UPHEAVAL CHARACTERIZES GRIEVERS.
A loved one's death disrupts emotional balance. The variety and intensity of feelings seem overwhelming. Other grievers and counselors can help us interpret and deal with these feelings. As we come to understand what we experience, we can find appropriate ways to ventilate our #emotions and to channel them constructively.
10.GRIEVERS OFTEN LACK DIRECTION AND PURPOSE.
At times in the grieving process, a kind of drifting occurs. #Mourners find familiar and necessary activities difficult. We prefer to daydream about what was or fantasize about what might have been. If we can foster #gratitude for the past and begin to assess our potential for the future, this will prove a passing phase, not a permanent state.
11.HEALING BRINGS HOPE TO GRIEVERS.
It takes time and effort, but gradually hope dawns for bereaved people. We learn to express emotions without embarrassment or apology. We cherish memories, bittersweet though they are. we begin to feel concern for and show interest in others. We make decisions and assume responsibility for ourselves. The example of the #recovered grievers helps us discover and develop our own #potential.
12.SURVIVORS REAFFIRM THEMSELVES AND CHOOSE LIFE.
Eventually, grievers recognize and embrace a healing truth: Grief has changed me, but has not destroyed me. I've discovered new things about myself. I can build on strengths developed through adversity. I'm no longer my "old self" but I'm still me, I face the #future with #confidence. Life is worth #living because I can love and be #loved.